The movies would have you believe that being a spy is all
about cool gadgets, fast cars and showing off your martial arts skills.
Unfortunately, in reality you’re more likely to be sitting behind a desk or, if
you’re very lucky, travelling to some very nasty places and getting in some
serious danger.
Still want to be a spy?
For those of you determined to worm your way into the MI5,
here’s a step by step guide to giving it your best shot....
1. Get a Degree
They don’t hand over the responsibility of national security
to just anyone, y’know! MI5 recruit the top graduates from across the country
in a range of disciplines, but for your best chances of nabbing an interview
you probably want to study something relevant such as Politics, Economics, Geography,
Law or Criminology.
According to the MI5
website, many successful applicants also have a Masters degree and a few
even have a PhD. However, if you’ve already started on your degree course and
think you’ve chosen the wrong one, don’t worry – if you can prove you have the
skills and abilities they need in other areas of your life, you’ve still got a
shot. They’ve employed graduates of everything from Architecture to Zoology!
2. Be Discreet
So, you’ve made it into the MI5 but you’re stuck doing
office work. If you want to get in on the real action, you’ll need to prove to
your seniors that you’re worthy of being a front-line spy. The first step is to
show them how discreet you are – if you’re given a secret to keep, keep it.
It’s not called being a secret agent
for nothing!
It’s a good idea to minimise your online profile too. We
live in a technological age where it’s easy to find out about someone by
pulling up their Facebook profile, Twitter page or their blog. The greatest
spies of all time are those whose identity was shrouded in mystery – very
little is known about the real life
of Sydney Reilly, the inspiration for Ian Fleming’s famous James Bond
character.
3. Hone Your Skills
As a spy, you’ll need a multitude of skills from observation
to lie-detection and quick thinking. Practise eavesdropping on conversations in
noisy, crowded areas, or go one better and learn to lip-read (watching DVDs on
mute can help) so that you never need to put yourself too close to the person
you’re spying on, risking detection. Train using gadgets such as a motion
detector or binoculars, but don’t rely on them – in the heat of the moment
you may have nothing but your wits about you to escape unharmed.
Train your brain with memory-enhancing puzzles – as a secret
agent, you’ll need to pick up every detail of a scene or conversation and then
be able to recall them when needed. No spy worth his salt will take notes as
they can incriminate you if caught! If you do get caught up ‘behind enemy
lines’ you’ll need to know how to act cool, casual and as though you’ve done
nothing wrong. A discreet DVR
to store encrypted files on is a possible alternative.
Try the MI5 online
listening test to see if you have what it takes!
4. Get the Look
Fashionistas beware, spying is probably not the career for
you. As a spy, you need to be able to blend in with any crowd, so a desire to
stand out is a very undesirable trait
as far as the MI5 are concerned!
Of course, if you have any stand-out features you can also
practise until you become a master of disguise – when you’re needed to go
undercover, hide bright red or very long hair under a nondescript, brown wig,
wear coloured contacts to hide bright blue eyes and dress like the locals, even
if it’s not particularly flattering!
5. Learn the Lingo
Finally, if you’re determined to get into espionage, it
helps to know the different terms that are going to get thrown around. Here are
just a handful of the key ones but make sure you do your research, especially
if you speak a foreign language and want to spy abroad as there will be a whole
new set of words and phrases to learn!
- Dead Drop – a secret location known to 2 or more agents, where they can leave items for the other to collection without having to physically meet
- Double Agent – an agent who appears to work for two different governments, but is in fact giving false information to one to aid the other
- Hard-Target Country – a country that it is difficult to spy on, such as Russia or North Korea
- Rabbit – the person being spied on
Do you have any of your own tips you’d like to share with
aspiring spies?
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