Smart or Downright Ridiculous? Real Life Tips Given to World War II Spies

Near the start of World War II, a Cabinet-approved organisation of spies known as the Special Operations Executive (SOE) was formed with the aim of spying on and sabotaging enemy missions, and aiding local resistance movements to succeed.

Very few people knew of the SOE’s existence, also nicknamed the Baker Street Irregulars and the ‘Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare’ by those who did, so when the official SOE training manual for spies was published in 2004 it provided a never-before-seen glimpse into the inner workings of a real espionage agency.

From the clever to the downright crazy, here are some of the lessons the SOE taught their spies in training, extracted from the book How to Be a Spy: The World War II SOE Training Manual...

Master of disguise – image via Tim Simpson

Hiding Secret Messages

Many high-tech methods of creating and transporting secret messages have been developed over the years, from the ink-dot printer that can shrink an A4 document down to the size of a full stop, to secret inks that are only visible under certain conditions.

The SOE however had some rather more crude methods of keeping their secret documents safe – they instructed their agents to “use edible or soluble paper for messages” and to hide them in amongst things they would be carrying in bulk “such as tobacco shreds [or] potatoes”.

It’s a good thing the paper is edible, so if you forget you’re carrying it and accidently turn it into a plate of chips along with those potatoes you’re lugging around everywhere, you won’t get indigestion!

Observing Without Being Observed

The life of a spy was not all glitz and glamour – imagine lying on your stomach for hours on end watching your enemy, under orders to keep still... very still. The SOE agents were instructed to keep their heads “as still as is humanely possible” and if they absolutely had to move it, to do so “an inch or less at a time”. You had better hope no one was sneaking up on you from behind because at that rate, they’d have shot you before you even saw them coming!

For optimal disguise when carrying out observation, agents were also told to cover their head with “a bunch of herbage held before it”. And you thought it was only in cartoons that people snuck around holding branches over their face!

A lamp-post does not have arms... image via Anonymous9000

Stating the Obvious

The guide continues on the subject of camouflage by describing how to blend in with your surroundings by making yourself look like a rock or a tree. Again, the somewhat amateur use of trees and plants is given – “pockets, button-holes, waist-band collar – all these can receive and hold pieces of vegetation”.

The guide does note however that on a hot day these plants will wither and become useless. Can you imagine the look on your enemy’s face when he sees you standing there right in front of him, covered in wilted flowers like a sad clown pretending you’re invisible?

When it comes to role-playing a rock or a tree the SOE guidebook gives some very useful tips such as the wonderfully informative, “rocks do not have branches, therefore when among rocks keep your arms close to your body. Trees do [have branches]”.

Your head should be made to look like something completely unlike a human head, such as “a tiny bucket or pile of horse dung”. I wonder what you have to put on your face to achieve that disguise?

Sending Sound Signals

Sometimes as a spy you’ll need to send messages to your nearby comrades without arousing suspicion if the enemy is nearby. There’s no secret ink or sacks of potatoes here – you’ll have to rely on sound, probably by imitating a bird call or other animal. Sound simple enough?

Apparently not – SOE agents had to be reminded that they had to pick an animal call that was local to the area and “not choose a hyena for use in Europe, or a cock crowing in the middle of the desert”. I would have loved to see the guard’s face in Berlin if he suddenly heard a hyena across the street at night!

I could go on – the book is absolutely full of ‘useful’ advice and guidance. It’s hard to believe that these tips were actually taught to professional detectives. 

What do you think, are they smart moves or downright ridiculous?

Estelle Page writes for Spy Camera CCTV, an online retailer of security camera systems including hidden spy cameras for the home and other gadgets for the wannabe spy!